thebeckerfamily

Happy 3rd Birthday Tator!

2009-12-13T20:21:00.001-06:00

Yesterday the baby turned 3...it started off and ended with day full of everything that Nathan loves...

Poptarts for breakfast...

Hot dogs, Chips, French Fries, Milk and Pop for dinner (yes, I let him have a teeny glass 1/2 full of pop)

After taking him out for supper for another favorite - pizza - we came home for cake, ice cream and presents.

Of course Nate would not touch his cake...

But as you can see, he was beyond thrilled with the look of it (love the choo-choos!)

What I think is the most hysterical is really, the best present of the night was a the card that Nick picked out for him - it was one of those musical cards - Madagascar theme singing "I like to move it move it" - Nate LOVED it and seriously, I don't even know how many times we got to hear that last night!

...notice the card has not left his hands...

Happy Birthday baby - we love you so much!

Snow #2

2009-12-13T18:46:00.000-06:00

So the next day we had gotten more snow (two 'snow days' called after that evening) and this time we had such a fun time...making a snowman, a fort and sledding up and down our very little hill (hey, it works for them!). We were all so wet (very heavy wet snow) so it was time to head in and Nate was so peeved - I think he could have stayed outside all night. It's not often we see him so happy and that was fun to see!

Snow #1

2009-12-13T18:33:00.004-06:00

Because there was so much snow on the ground (see below) we just had to get outside and play!

Thanksgiving

2009-12-13T18:20:00.000-06:00

Frustrated...with the system and myself

2009-12-03T12:47:00.000-06:00

So I'm home for lunch - getting supper in the crock pot, checking email, checking blogs...and a gal I know of (don't know her well) just blogged that they have their adopted daughters file in their possesion. They started with the same country we are with in July of last year...and they have HER. Theirs. Just over a year.

and. i'm. frustrated.

I think that me be putting it mildly...because while they are with a different agency than us and everyone sets different peramiters, we are hearing back from others that they have waited OVER 12 MONTHS (really more like 14mos, 16mos etc) for their children.

how is this possible?

How can we all be adopting from the same country and have such DRASTICALLY different wait times.

so i'm frustrated...i'm doubting God's timing and I'm not sharing in the joy of this aqaintaince who has seen her daughter for the first time...and that is not like me...but it doesn't stop the 5 year old in me from thinking "It's my turn!"

Prayers for acceptance and joy and patience...I guess that's all I can ask for....

Update...

2009-11-28T00:03:00.001-06:00

Wow...is it time for an update or what!

No time for pictures...let's get too it...

* Water For Christmas - one day - $30,000 plus - AMAZING! Wonderful! Thank you!

huge slide down from that...read on if you will

* We had a cat...for all of two weeks (maybe a skoch more than that) named Cinder...beautiful approx 2 mo. old black cat that was almost ran over by my co-worker and came to live with us. Crazy cat that loved to pick fights (could be the age - who knows, she and Halley ((dog)) had fun though) and bite. Nate hated her - too much invading of personal space for him and I realized I just don't have the patience or the time for cats after having children. So Cinder went off to a friends farm - seriously she did - and is now known as Trixie. Laugh it up...it's true!

* Went away for a girls weekend with some friends last weekend - so much fun, such good memories - love those gals!!

* Had a great Thanksgiving with my 3 guys yesterday - did the bird, the potatoes, the stuffing - well, really Brian did, I did the gravy and drank a glass of wine - all in all, a great meal and a great day!

* Nicholas is being this amazing boy these past two weeks...very helpful and trying new things willingly...just amazing... So my big guy and I starting putting up the tree and the Christmas decor yesterday...still have a ways to go...but love that Nicker man for always wanting to be there!

* Going a little stir crazy in the house today - laundry and the usual cleaning - Brian went hunting - needed to GET OUT so we braved the "eating out with young children" and went out for Chinese (I know, what the heck were we thinking - the least we could have done was found a place with a grilled cheese sandwich right?)...but actually it went REALLY well. I think the kids were as couped up as I was. We enjoyed our meal immensely!

* After supper we went to pick up a couple of movies (wild and crazy guys that we are!). Let the boys stay up late then sat down to watch a cute movie about love, relationships and marriage...not a real blockbuster, but cute (and really, our options were SO limited). So after the movie was done I couldn't help myself, turned to Brian and asked "So, was I your safe bet?" and his answer to me - verbatim - was "YOU? Yeah, about as safe as a heart attack!" which cracked me up. I for one, am taking this as a compliment. Love you too babe!

So that's about it...will follow up with pictures in good time...

Water For Christmas...Friday, November 13th

2009-11-12T19:58:00.013-06:00

I'm at a loss for words...

I feel that my babies deserve the best of everything I can give them...

...and these babies do too.

I feel that for some, once your are a mother, you can't help but have your eyes opened to all of the children that need love, attention or just a moment for one person to see what a wonder a joy they really are.

These children need more than that.

They need water. Wonderful, lifegiving water.

Go HERE to donate.

To help these people.

To change the world.

To change yourself.

Pictures provided by Jody Landers.

Go HERE to read more about her trip to Liberia last week with charity: water.

Everday life.

2009-11-01T14:25:00.002-06:00

I'm thankful for my husband...who doesn't like coffee but will make mine for me when I am (always and every morning) running late. I love it that he takes the initiative to get a babysitter to take me out to eat at my fav. restaurant too. This always makes me feel loved - that and when he does the dishes (which he always does) and makes supper (which when he does is SU-HO much better than me cooking).

I thankful for the Nicker...who when I do something that makes him immeasurably happy he without fail says "Oh Mom, I love your heart." I love this boy who always tells me when he thinks I look nice which doesn't fail to make me feel like a million dollars.

I'm thankful for the Tate...who while even though he seems to need me desparately at times (which makes me feel claustrophobic or like I have a new apendage that weights UH-LOT) still shows me how much he loves me with the sloppy kisses and and wonderful giggles.

I'm thankful for catching up with family...even though we see eachother less and less as the years go on, talking on the phone reminds me how close we really are. The few true people who know you, your sense of humor and who without fail do the 'hello voices'.

I'm thankful for my job...while I don't love it every minute of everyday and while without fail I have the working-mother-maybe-I-should-stay-home-mother-their-only-young-once complex at least once a week - I truly do love what I do. I love that I get to come up with ideas, that my ideas are heard, and that 50% of the time I get to be creative and looking for new ways to do what we do better.

I'm thankful for my friends...even though we don't see eachother as much as we (me!) would like, the fact that when we do get together (and even in the anticipation of getting together!) the fun times are at an all time high, the laughter never ends and I truly feel like I know the best people ever - different from eachother, different from me, but we all just fit.

So in the month of thanksgiving...I am very thankful.

Saturday Fun Part 2

2009-10-31T21:11:00.005-05:00

We had such a good time trick-or-treating & seeing our friends!!

Saturday Fun Part 1

2009-10-31T12:57:00.004-05:00

So this morning we used the coupons we had for four free games of bowling and hit the lanes (we tried hitting the pins, but that didn't always go so well).

Nicholas tried the ramp, the bumpers and doing it all by himself - which amazingly to us showed us how competitive he really is. He was getting so mad at himself each time he didn't knock any down...even if he only got a couple he was mad. So many conversations in the span of one hour in regards to not always winning, sometimes getting zero etc...non of which really sunk in I think.

This is after the very first melt down...

This is after the third...

Overall we had an ok time...but it wasn't quite what a thought it would be. Guess we can't win em' all.

Needless to say BOTH of these children are taking a nap now. Let's hope Trick-or-Treating goes over better than bowling did...

More Milestones for Nick

2009-10-31T12:29:00.003-05:00

Thursday, October 29th - the Nickerman lost his first tooth!!

Typical of him getting his first baby teeth - I -the mom- am oblivious to this. He had told me a couple of weeks ago on our way to school that his teeth were loose. I felt, noticed nothing and in the back of my mind thought that he was too young to start loosing his teeth already.

Nope. Daddy notices that Nicks tooth is not quite as white as it used to be and realizes that this puppy is ready to come out at any moment!

His tooth was holding on just enough that I had to give it a good tug but it popped right out - and I think Nick was just so excited that he let the "pain" go right away.

After all of the fuss of mom and dad the big guy had to go check it out himself.

Our big guy is just growing up...

Mr. M

2009-10-28T20:05:00.003-05:00

So tonight Nate & I watched Mr. Magoriums Wonder Emporium - such a good movie! It made me smile, it made me laugh and it made me remember about the hope and sparkle we have when we are kids! This is a wonderful movie that deals with loss and love and being true to and believing in yourself and what you have to offer.

One of my (many) favorite quotes from the movie (brought me to tears)...

Mr. Edward Magorium: [to Molly, about dying] When King Lear dies in Act V, do you know what Shakespeare has written? He's written "He dies." That's all, nothing more. No fanfare, no metaphor, no brilliant final words. The culmination of the most influential work of dramatic literature is "He dies." It takes Shakespeare, a genius, to come up with "He dies." And yet every time I read those two words, I find myself overwhelmed with dysphoria. And I know it's only natural to be sad, but not because of the words "He dies." but because of the life we saw prior to the words. [pause, walks over to Molly] I've lived all five of my acts, Mahoney, and I am not asking you to be happy that I must go. I'm only asking that you turn the page, continue reading... and let the next story begin. And if anyone asks what became of me, you relate my life in all its wonder, and end it with a simple and modest "He died."

Molly Mahoney: [starting to sob] I love you.

Mr. Edward Magorium: I love you, too. [picks Molly up, sighs heavily]
Your life is an occasion. Rise to it.

Pumpkin Carving (and guts!)

2009-10-27T20:23:00.002-05:00

So tonight it was time to carve the pumpkins! Of course the boys...well really Nick...was interested for all of 5 minutes and then doing progress checks ever 10 minutes after that.

So it was up to the big guy and I. And in all actuality, we had a great time...remembering our first Halloween carving pumpkins in my tiny attic apartment, remembering every year thereafter and why we did or didn't do pumpkins and what we had done each of those years

(he is now looking over my shoulder correcting my punctuation so maybe I'm forgetting all of the good times - HA!)

So here is the main man really getting into it!

Here are my pumpkin guts. Laugh all you want, but I dig this stuff out with my rubber gloves on - so nasty - the smell alone makes me want to gag!

Above is the "scary" pumpkin face that Nick picked out.

2/3's of the boys.

Me and the Nicker.

Making more memories.

Cutie Patootie!

Halloween at the Y

2009-10-25T10:22:00.003-05:00

Friday night we got the boys (aka Luigi and Mario) dressed up for Halloween at the Y. We had SO MUCH FUN! We did some games together, did some divide-and-conquer style, got lots of prizes and candy, saw a lot of friends...it was a very good night!

It all comes back around...

2009-10-25T09:50:00.003-05:00

So this past Wednesday I joined Weight Watchers. I had been thinking about this for a long time - that being the decision of what "plan" to start. I've done the liquid diets - loose weight only to gain it back. I've tried the pill diets and got a little scared off of those. So after thinking long and hard about what was my main struggle (food) I decided that WW was the 'weigh' to go (hahaha).

Brian being the supportive guy he has always been was all on board for whatever he could do to make this easier on me and we both love finding the 0 calorie items I can eat as much as I want of (my fav. yogurt - key lime pie - AMEN!).

In initially talking to him about this though the topic of "go to meetings/join the group" vs "don't go to meetings/do it online & alone" came up. I of course went with the "do it alone" route (big shocker for those that know me) and he said that at some point or many points it might get more difficult to stick with it, and at that point I am going to need others that are along this same path as well to motivate and encourage me. Valid point I said, but my experience with more than one individual trying to loose weight has been that the larger of the two or of the group generally look down on the smaller of the group with disdain as to "why would YOU need to loose weight!?" My take on this has been while I may be smaller than you, there is someone else who is smaller than me (and so on and so forth). I also feel that we each do it for our own reasons...loose weight, eat better/healthier, form better eating habits, etc. Choose one, choose them all...

So anyway, we let that conversation drop...until after church last night...

Now I have never considered us poor. I have also never considered us rich. We are very blessed and while at times we have been stretched thin (2 mortgage pmts for 15mos after moving here - arghh!) we have never been down and out and for that I am extremely thankful.

So last night our pastor starts off his sermon directing it towards those who are rich and makes the comment that those who feel they are not rich are not invited to take a nap as this is towards all of us. He made the comment that approx. 8% of the worlds population owns a car...WOW! So as he pointed out, the fact that some of us are able to drive one or even two cars does in fact make us rich! Kind of makes you think... bigger, smaller, rich, poor ...kind, generous.

Makes you think...makes me want to do better, be better...

It all comes back around.

1Timothy 6:17-18 Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God, who richly provides us with everything for our enjoyment. Command them to do good, to be rich in good deeds, and to be generous and willing to share.

We're feeling Hot HOt HOT!

2009-10-25T09:07:00.002-05:00

Scarecrows and Sillyness

2009-10-20T19:47:00.005-05:00

So last night Nick came home with an extra pack because it was his turn to make the pumpkin scarecrow...such fun reading the story and watching him cut and color!

So tonight it was all about trying on our Halloween costume (well, we had to make sure it fit! ha!) This year I was not about buying costumes (spendy!) so when Nick said he wanted to be Luigi (Mariokart) I looked at the box and thought to myself - "Hey, that looks pretty easy - green shirt, bibs, black shoes, white gloves and a green hat with an L on it" - and doesn't he just looks so cute!!!

And of course the Tator wanted to join in on the cheese!

I think we're ready!

Happy Anniversary to Us.

2009-10-20T19:11:00.002-05:00

I could make this a long post. I do have a lot I could say.

However, I think Brian said it best yesterday with,

"I was going to write you a letter like I do every year,

but I'm not going too. I'm just glad we made it through."

'Nuff said.

So here's to the next 8 years...may they be

as challenging and strengthening as the last 8 have been.

I love you babe.

It's the little things...

2009-10-19T18:14:00.001-05:00

...when you feel you've hit the 'jackpot' of the day with 7 red's in a mini sized pack of skittles.

Christmas shopping...

2009-10-17T22:39:00.003-05:00

How many days away is Christmas? Don't know...doesn't matter... So excited that after 3 days of intense price matching and online shopping I am done...you got it... I'M DONE CHRISTMAS SHOPPING for the boys (ok, well except for 2 things that are the cheapest at Walmart and I have to drive about 3 miles to get there so that doesn't count)!

I can't even tell you how many websites I visited, how many times I googled, but I think I got exactly what they will want, use, enjoy and learn from and all for a very good price.

This year Brian and I were very determined that we were not going to spend a fortune on these kids, nor were we going to get them things we hoped or thought they would like...we didn't and I'm pleased...and I think they will be too.

Yeah!

**I can't even begin to tell you how ecstatic Nick will be when we put up the tree and I bring out their already wrapped presents...it's going to kill him with joy! Ha!

Honesty.

2009-10-17T09:35:00.006-05:00

Let me preface this by saying that while my post below was vague --this is MY outlet to bring out MY frustrations and feelings and while as my husband points out, it is in fact public (maybe time to change that?).

That being said, while I was in the shower this morning (usually the only time I am able to be alone here in the house of men) I thought about all of the other times that people have been open and honest with me and in their sharing of their feelings/vulnerability I have in fact felt like maybe everything will be in it's own sense "ok" or maybe I'm not such a bad person, or you know what, I'm not the only one who has ever felt this/thought that/been there...and it brought some peace.

One woman told me that her son had the worst colic ever and she stated that after that experience she could understand why people that have no support and no help or family shake their babies -- something I have always thought after 4 months of Tate having the worst acid reflux (the screaming...never ending screaming)...and in her saying something I have always felt like such an awful guilty mother for even understanding such an awful circumstance (I'm not condoning this people, but I can see where it starts from)...and in hearing her have the courage to utter the words...I felt like maybe I wasn't the worst mother ever for thinking that too.

In asking a group of women about being a stay at home mother or a working mother after the adoption (been and done both situations with the boys)...one mother said frankly - Whatever you do, whatever you decide, own it. DO NOT let other people make you feel guilty or 'bad' for a decision that you made. It's your family and you are doing what is best for you and your family not theirs. - and she was absolutely right. From her words and knowledge I found some strength.

So...now my post from yesterday...I guess if this even would help one other person...here it goes...

We have been working for what feels like forever (approx 7 months or so really) with Nate. He crawled before Nick ever did, walked before Nick ever did...but just like Nick his speech was significantly delayed. I didn't really think a whole lot about it only because we had taken Nick to get evaluated and while he was delayed, they told us what we needed to work on and over the summer before pre-school we saw significant improvement. Socially Nick was a bit delayed as well, but the one thing I will say about him and have said before - that boy wants to be friends with everyone!! Children he doesn't even know he wants to play with because hey - we could all be friends right? Why not? Great attitude. Well, with Nate it was a little different because through his inability to communicate came the extreme frustrations and tantrums (and who wouldn't if they didn't feel understood right?). In having him evaluated (because I thought we might as well get it done earlier if it would help) he was diagnosed (with what really isn't a diagnosis) being PDDNOS - Pervasive Development Delay Not Otherwise Specified. He had a hard time looking most people in the eye. He did not (and still doesn't always) feel comfortable in groups of people and if uncomfortable with one or many, he needs to distance himself from the group/the person and observe before feeling comfortable enough to join in.

For the past 3 months or so he has gone to a specialist who works him him each morning and we have also transitioned him to that same care group so he can continue associating with others his own age. This has gone SO INCREDIBLY WELL! He loves his teacher Lori...he loves his group and group 'mothers' (Miss Jenni) and he is learning so much more each day. Well, on the flip side of that we have had some issues with his coordinator who originally told us she felt that he was Autistic and only upon both her and the Autism specialist being in the same room with us did she back down and say that 1) he was still to young for that diagnosis and 2) that 'maybe' she had originally been pushing her own agenda which had brought on his responses of avoiding and disassociating with her (he still acts strange around her to this day). She is not the easiest person to deal with and likes to say the same words over and over (and quite frankly is not a specialist but likes to act as one). Her favorites word is "socially reciprocity" which annoys the crap out of me. We are aware of our sons personality which is why WE started this whole process...and you spending an hour or so with him every other week (if that) does not give you the right to say...well, some of the things that she has said...but that is not the point of this post, so I will leave it there. However some of the things she has said we are now hearing again...but not about Nate...

In the past 3 months we have seen Nate grow in his acceptance of new things (not always, but getting better) and of his verbiage and sentence structure. We are really happy with the way things have been going!

But back to my phone call the other day...

Our neighbor is the principle at Nicks school, so she had first called Brian about some of Nicks behavior...so I knew that this was coming. They feel that he doesn't understand what is being asked of him and they were unsure as to whether he just didn't hear the instructions or request or whether he just overall was simply not paying attention.

So when his teacher called me yesterday, I was expecting that...I was ready to discuss what she was trying to do with him in the classroom and what I would or could do with him at home to supplement his experience at school to make this easier for him and on her.

What I was not prepared for was to hear that she really felt like he was having a hard time with the social aspect of school and the transfer of knowledge that she sees/knows that he has (I took notes people...). She said that he seems to have a hard time with the generalization of things and while in the beginning of the school year he had a really hard time making eye contact. She said that this is getting better but he will never bring himself out in the sense that if he didn't get a paper that everyone else gets he will not raise his hand or let her know, he will just sit and wait...and wait...until maybe she notices. She said that when asked what his favorite Disney character was his response (even after hearing other children say their favorites) was "I don't know, maybe outside?" When asked what his brothers name is he has responded that he doesn't have a brother. When asked to put away his extra milk (and knowing where the fridge in his room is) he did nothing which prompted her to ask where his mommy asks that he put his milk away and he replied "maybe in the sink?" (which this one shocked me because I always tell him to put his milk in the fridge - but again goes back to not every fridge is our home fridge but they are all the same). So she wants to meet with us and also wants us to meet with their AEA rep to go over some things about Nick next week.

...and so it is starting again...only with Nick...and that freaks me out...and it makes me confused and angry and sad... That as both of them get older these "differences" will be so much more noticeable and how to deal with how that hurts them and how others hurt them because of it. And even more simply, what can we do to make these learning differences work for both of them.

So there it is...in a nutshell...and I hope it helps someone reading this (maybe)...

Feeling better...feeling determined...all because of sleep.

2009-10-17T08:39:00.002-05:00

So after a good nights sleep I am no longer emotional...but more determined...whatever I need to do, I will do...

I didn't hurt either to be shown Nate's paperwork from his teacher at daycare from yesterday which said:

"Miss Jenny said yesterday @ 4:00 diapering they had just turned the music on, Nate was in diapering, wiggling around, Jenn said 'hold still', Nate said "I want to dance!"

Crack me up!! That's my boy!! Let's dance!!!

It also makes me so happy to hear more and more words and phrases come out of that little guy. Pronunciation will come later, but for now, I can understand him, he seems to understand that I am trying to hear his words the way he is saying it and is calmer...baby steps, that's all we can ask for!

***

Also cute story...Nick cracks me up and may just be as crazy as I am...here is our conversation last night...

(I was counting down from 20 to see how fast he could run and get his pj's and get back to his room to get dressed for bed)

N: Stop counting! I don't want you to count!
M: Why, because you don't want to hurry...or because it makes the big purple monster come out to play?
N: (crazy giggles)...oh mommy...the monster is green!

That child makes me laugh like no one else...except his Dad. Love you Quick Wit Jr.!!

Sad.Frustrated.Mad

2009-10-16T22:22:00.002-05:00

I got a phone call this afternoon...while I was at work...a call I knew was coming...news I wasn't quite prepared to hear.

Tears. Frustration. Anger. Confused. Shocked. More Tears...more tears...and still more tears.

I'm angry...at myself (was it me, something I did/didn't do, why is this happening, when will this stop) angry at "the people" (back off of My children) and finally, yes, at God (why? seriously, it was hard enough thinking/dealing/hoping/praying with one, but the potential of both? this isn't fair, it isn't right!).

So I'm still frustrated. I'm still angry.

But not at God...because the minute I thought about how unfair for them, all the hurt and the pain and frustration that they will have to deal with that I will never be able to prepair them enough for...I remember that He had a son once too and it wasn't painless and easy for him either.

So I pray...for help, for grace, for the right words...because this is not going to go away and it is not going to get easier.

So I pray.

Poor Nicker

2009-10-12T18:03:00.004-05:00

So today I was home with a sick Nicker...the flu...uhg. Started yesterday afternoon...hoping for just a 12 hr bug...back again at 4:30am. Poor guy.

You know, it's easier having a sick 5 year old rather than say, a 1 or 2 year old. You can tell them "Here's the bowl, lets not miss ok?" and they get that and there isn't the multiple changes of clothes.

But a 5 year old can look at you with the saddest eyes and say "My head just hurts so very bad" and you just want to make it all better and can't. Top that by "Please Mommy, just take me to the Dr." only to have to respond that he has a virus (we call them "ickies") in his tummy that just need to go away on their own and that medicine wouldn't work.

Poor Nicker

The happy side of today is that I got to spend the whole day with just him...and we both took a wonder 2+ hour nap...that part I loved.

Oh, and this is the candy plate that is on our table...about half full with me home for a full day. Tummy and thighs - your welcome.

Saturday

2009-10-11T19:56:00.004-05:00

Saturday started off with me working, Nick had soccer practice and it snowed.

Yup, October 10th and the snow was falling...very hard to take.

All week long we had planned on taking the kids to go get their pumpkins and do the whole apples, hay rack ride, pumpkin picking experience...but with the snow (as my boss stated before I left work) we might as well pick up our Christmas tree at the same time!

Ugh - snow already!

Anyway, plans were adjusted to just "getting" the pumpkins after some lunch.

Look at the babies all bundled up already!

I love this picture!!
They had all of these beautiful mums by the biggest pumpkins I've ever seen and this cute little wagon...love it!!

Cute Nicker!

Nick & Jack (jack-o-lantern) He was so proud of the little guy he picked out!

Nate being goofy.

We had such a good day! Great lunch, great time with the family!

We also picked up some candy at this little store...spiced gumdrops...the minute I saw them I thought of Grandpa John and how he always used to buy them for us when we were kids. It was about a year ago today that he went Home...just thinkin' of ya' Grandpa.

Good Day. Good Memories...both past and present.

Oh so happy...

2009-10-11T13:54:00.003-05:00

Yesterday was a good day...for multiple reasons, but let me just expound on one for right now...

So obviously saving for the adoption of our daughter is a priority right now - not something that is hard for me to do after all, I am a budget, follow my rule, accomplish my goal type gal, however I am also a home improvement, make it better, prettier, more organized type gal as well - and these two personalities do not always mesh well (save$/spend$).

A 'have to' right now was replacing the wood trim in the bathroom with tile - to keep it simple, tile does not mold, wood does, mold freaks me out. Now don't think that my bathroom is taken over by mold, but having found it in one spot alone makes me know that the fan/vent is not keeping up with the hot showers or that the molding wasn't sealed properly - regardless, it had to go. So in the meantime I start thinking about what ELSE I could do to make the bathroom better (the layout over all would need to be revamped -it's horrible- and that I definitely DO NOT have the money for)...one thing was the mirrors...

Right now we have two small mirrors above both of the sinks (one thing that is a blessing) and a smallish light fixture in the middle of the mirrors - so most of the light is shining in the middle of the space where there is no mirror - not so helpful. So I get the bright idea - lets either buy a bigger/longer light fixture ($$) or buy a bigger, singular mirror ($$$). Start looking online and find what I want at Lowes for approx. $151 - ouch!! Hmm...guess I'm just going to squash this one from the get go because I really don't want to spend that much on a frame less mirror. Hubby suggest calling Menards (local!) and seeing what they have to offer. One phone call later and I am in disbelief -$35!!! You got that right - $35!!!! I actually second guessed the girl on the phone who said "Yes Mame, they are on sale this week." WOOHOO! I can totally justify $35 dollars...but then I start to second guess again - something is wrong with it, this isn't a comparison to one from Lowes. Break the astonishing news to the Hubby who says - go check it out! "Now?" I asked. "Heck yeah, why not" he said. If I must, I must. So take off, visit Menards and sure enough, same thing.

This mirror is mine...and all for $35. I don't know what makes me happier - the fact that I was able to make the change I wanted too and for a very reasonable price, or the fact that I just saved $116 plus drive time and gas by making one phone call.

Sometimes those husbands are just so smart.

What a day...

2009-10-09T20:53:00.003-05:00

So I love being late to work when my son tells me about 30 seconds before we leave the house that he needs to fill out a 6 question sheet on fire safety in regards to our home in order to get a prize from his teacher...this coming from the boy who when asked what he did that day responds "I don't know" or who he played with "I can't remember their names" but asked what he had for lunch and he can describe in detail what he ate and what was "too yucky for Nick"...Ahhh! So while I know for a fact that #1 Dad had already gone over all of this before I was home from work the other day, here I am running around the house with the big guy counting fire alarms and looking at escape routes - seriously!

I love it when when he throws a mini fit in the car because #1 Dad took a "short cut" to school the other day and now I'm driving the "wrong way" because I didn't. Seriously? Dad doesn't even bring him to school in the a.m. and I know for a fact that the "short cut" road goes around the school and not too the school. Such a fun way to start off the day.

I love it when I hear that Tate had a melt down while grocery shopping with said #1 Dad and was screaming the whole time and had to be held - yes my love, I have been there about a trillion times and don't really feel that sorry for you. Welcome to my life! Seriously!

I love it when I see myself in the Nicker who is bawling about having to go to bed - almost a full hour after his normal bedtime. To see him go from tears to laughter and back to tears is almost too much coming from a woman who when she is beyond tired does the same thing. Made a deal with the big guy that if he was awake in 10 minutes, I would come and get him and we would watch TV all night long - he doesn't stand a chance. I love it.

...what a day!

Time to check on the big boy...

...

Ha! Tired babies are sleeping fast...Mommy rocks!

Monday Night Football...and baking.

2009-10-05T19:49:00.002-05:00

So last week Friday we all went to a benefit for a gal from church - trivia, cookie walks, raffles and a silent auction - lots of fun with family and friends and a really great cause that brought so many together.

Oddly enough, even though I don't like being in the kitchen I bid on a bowl of fall/harvest baking items - really I just loved the bowl it came in and the supplies inside were a bonus...well, I won, so it was mine and tonight while my boys are watching football, I am making them cookies and cupcakes and making them beautiful with all of the decor items I would never usually buy. So pretty!!

Go Vikings - beat those Packs!!!

(and family from WI. - I love you and please don't shun me for those words - haha!)

Makeovers & More!

2009-10-04T21:40:00.006-05:00

So this weekend my mother and my aunt Janet were here to spend time with us. We started off our Saturday with a lot of talking, a ton of coffee and then some hair appointments for the two of them - time for a change!

Before...

After!!!

Beautiful Chicks!!

Thank you for coming to see us - we had a great time!!

And so it begins...

2009-10-04T18:12:00.002-05:00

I saw this t-shirt online today...

...how true it is.

Warm or Have a Cold?

2009-10-01T20:30:00.002-05:00

Daddy: (after hearing a bit of sniffling) "Nick, are you getting a cold?"

Nick: "No, I have sleeves on!" (a long sleeve shirt)

For a Hometown Girl

2009-09-24T18:34:00.003-05:00

I received this email from my Aunt this morning...all for a hometown girl I remember...

This is a personal plea on my part. One of my co-workers, which many of you may know, Paula (Niccum) Johnson, has written and composed three Christian songs. She now has them available to listen to on either her website or you can purchase them on I-tunes.

Each song has its own sound, one is more rock/hip-hop, one is bluesy, and one is slow. If you would take the time to listen to them on her website and purchase them on I-tunes ($1 each) I would appreciate it! The more people that purchase the songs off I-Tunes the better chance she has of getting them played on the radio!!!!!!

Side note - Paula has been VERY ILL the past month or more. She currently is at MAYO and hopes to come home with answers as to what she might be sick from. Please keep her in your prayers as well.

If anyone reads this blog besides my own family (ha!) please say a prayer, and check out her music - each one is very different but wonderful in it's own right. "Last Goodbye" brought me to tears...

Not ok.

2009-09-24T18:33:00.000-05:00

Heavy heart this past week...heavy heart and heavy mind...ugh.

Grace

2009-09-21T19:11:00.002-05:00

For all the times I am reminded that I can't, I won't, I am not good enough, I will never follow through...

...there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

II Corinthians 12: 7-10

...in my weakness He is strong.

Not because of who I am.

Getting Creative!

2009-09-15T21:12:00.002-05:00

This weekend in lurking through blogs of blogs of blogs I found many cool sites, but this one in particular. So with the hubby away, the wife will...sew? More like have fun cutting up t-shirts that I will never wear (pink?) and creating a cute scarf that has a bit more potential (still a bit more my mothers taste in color than my own - but pretty cool I must say)!

good night

2009-09-15T20:10:00.002-05:00

Tonight has been a good night.

While I don't mind Brian being gone for work I'll be honest in saying that while he is gone, we either have good nights or bad nights - there is usually no in between. Either that or I have a behaving badly child #1 and behaving like a saint child #2 or visa versa.

But tonight...tonight was a good night. I never had to raise my voice, never had to ask more than once (even with the baby boy!!). We even had PTO tonight so Nate had to stick with me - with nothing to do but be close (which he loves) - in a room full of people (which he hates). He used his words and communicated quickly that he was getting overwhelmed, so to the back of the room we went, were I could hear and he could get some air - and all went well. We came home and had a quick drink (just milk for the boys!!) and it was time to chat and hit the hay. Again, no complaining, no back talk, just open ears and happiness all around. It even made my night when I was closing the door with my final "Love you guys!" and Nick says back "Love you to Mom!"

Yup, tonight was a good night.

Trying times.

2009-09-15T13:06:00.003-05:00

Trying times I'm having - trying to be better, think better, do better and still be me (ah yes, my will or His will). Having conversations with Brian in regards to trust and why I don't - why that is so damaging to me and to relationships that I do or do not have and all the while me thinking that I really need to get this straight before my babies are old enough to realize this about their momma. Going back to my old self is easy - protect my thoughts and my feelings and my heart from those that might/will hurt me - and it's justified right? No one wants to get hurt. But in doing so, I'm not trusting and I'm not opening myself up to feel the pain, just pass it by, stuff it down, don't deal with it and let it get dusty in the corners of my mind.

Today I read this on a another blog...

“My heart is held in the hands that threw stars across the night sky. My heart is hidden beneath the shadow of wings that reach from eternity to eternity. My heart is mended by the Carpenter, pieced back together with the same nails that pinned Him between heaven and earth.
I’ve got to believe that He’s not going to let me be emptied.”
(Ali C.)

...and now I'm in tears (not good when I only have about 20min left of lunch). Ouch!

So now I have to ask myself...if I don't trust others...do I really even trust Him?

Do what you CAN...

2009-09-15T13:05:00.001-05:00

...until you CAN do more.

I'm exhausted!

2009-09-13T20:41:00.005-05:00

So, we are small group has started it's new study. Discussion upon beginning last week revolved around our body, spirit and soul and how our soul is "composed of our intellect, our will and our emotions" and I feel very strongly that my will is in a constant struggle will the will of God. Well in ready chapter 2 today, this is what they say, and it cuts right to the core of how I have been feeling...

"When you received Jesus as your Savior, your spirit came alive, began to assert its new life, and take its rightful place as head over your soul...and your body. Your body and soul, however, were accustomed to "running the show," and it wasn't long before they had pretty much overwhelmed your new life in the spirit, and resumed the drivers seat. When you pray in the morning, the busyness of your soul and body is quieted; your spirit has a chance to let you know he is there; and at this and other times, you get an inkling that deep inside you, the new life is very real. but as soon as the clamor of existence begins again, you automatically start to trust your soul and body rather than your spirit. You were so accustomed to living by your thoughts, feelings, and desires...and by the demands of your body, that you soon lost track of the voice of the newly living spirit deep within you. It would seem that something needs to happen to your soul and body before your spirit can gain stronger control."

Isn't that just nuts-on!

So after reading this an talking about it with Brian, I had to leave to run some errands, and what is the first song I hear? 'So Long Self' by Mercy Me - first time I had ever heard it and if that isn't just the cherry on top of the message (HELLO Holy Spirit!!).

So long, self
Well, it's been fun, but I have found somebody else
So long, self
There's just no room for two
So you are gonna have to move
So long, self
Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me, farewell
Oh well, goodbye, don't cry
So long, self

So let me be straight - I am trying - and it is exhausting fighting against ones own nature - but I am trying. I am owning up to my own excuses about my behavior and am going to start each day and be the person that God wants me to be. This is not and will not be easy, but I am trying...

me and my boy.

2009-09-12T14:19:00.000-05:00

My Tator baby

2009-09-10T20:01:00.002-05:00

My Nicker

2009-09-10T19:50:00.001-05:00

Going to the Zoo!

2009-09-10T19:15:00.005-05:00

Last week Saturday we took the boys to the zoo! I commented to Brian that most days I feel like I live in one...and seeing the first exhibit - the Monkeys - it confirmed by belief. There were the two cutest little monkeys who were constantly swinging to and from each other, picking and touching and bugging each other the whole time. It was quite comical especially when the smaller of the two blindsided the other with a swift swing over and nice two-footed kick in the back...yup, that's my house all right!

My little monkeys.

Crazy huge monster fish...

Grandson of a hog farmer.

My first thought when I saw this sign 'Is this all it takes to get there?' - Ha!

After the zoo, we had a picnic and played in the park.

Then we went back to the zoo to see the elephants...and of course the monkeys...one more time.

Soccer Saturday(s)

2009-09-10T18:58:00.002-05:00

And so like most families we know...Saturday has now become a day of Soccer. Thankfully for us, it is only a practice from 9 until 10!

If you don't remember our last incident with soccer, it started with "I love soccer" and was a wonderful rollercoaster of a week between that sentiment and "I want to be done!"

Of course, after that week of 90+ degree weather, the first thing Nick says when we ask him if he would like to give Soccer one more try is "No...it's just too hot." Moms response was a firm "Nick, I can almost guarantee you that it will not be hot!" and thankfully it was a beautiful August day!

Of course he started out being Mr. Shy but with a smart coach who had his team play a whole field away from their parents, we saw our little guy become himself again and have a great time. By the time they all came running back for their first water break, our boy was back and ended the hour having had a great time!

Mommy's attempt at a posed shot!

So much more natural - and such a cute Nicker!!

Love-a-the-Ribs!!

2009-09-10T17:51:00.005-05:00

Aug 21st & 22nd - RIB FEST!!

On Saturday afternoon we took the boys with us to Rib Fest in Davenport - SO GOOD! We tried several of the vendors ribs and had to come back to the same group that we loved when we first went 3 years ago - 'Lick My Ribs' - they are the best!!

Finger lickin' good!

The boys - loving their chips!

They also had also had some bounce houses for the kids to enjoy...at one point it came down to Nick asking for both the carmel popcorn AND more bouncing. Given the choice of one, he choose the bouncing!

Once Tator got hold of the lemonade, it was all his!

Nicks first day of Kindergarten!

2009-09-09T13:22:00.002-05:00

Nicks first day of Kindergarten was GREAT! ...and I mean GREAT! He was so excited to wear his new Mario shirt, get his backpack and was more than ready to say goodbye and start walking down to the bus! Unfortunately for him (and for us as we would later find out!) we had decided that we didn't know how well he would take to new things so we decided to drop him off for the the first week or so and then switch to the bus later if Nick was ok with it (well, turns out we can't switch to the bus - unless we are ok with him being picked up at 8:07 - yeah, no.). So needless to say, we should have had a bit more faith in our boy and let him ride the bus as the drop off at school was not so great. He played shy and scared for about 45min while I stood there with him in the gym as kids from our neighborhood that he plays with ALL THE TIME came and went and tried to engage him. Ahh - that was frustrating! But, I was able to leave and upon picking him up that evening from the Y he had an amazing smile on his face, told me he had a good day and upon further questioning told me that he had "already talked once!" with a big hugh...ah yes, you are 5!

Now that it has been a couple of weeks he has nothing but good things to say about school! He loves his teacher "Missers" (Mrs.) Green. He loves his friends, riding the bus and "playing sports" at the Y.

We couldn't be happier!

...a bit nervous...

...a lot excited...

...and just plain ready to go!

Daddy trying to get a last minute hug.

It's Not Fair To Compare

2009-09-04T20:10:00.003-05:00

...nope. It's not - but that doesn't mean we don't. That doesn't mean I don't. And it doesn't make me a happier person. It doesn't make me a better person. So why do I do it?

Why do I compare my baby to other children his age and get angry that only until recently did he call me mommy? Why do I get frustrated with his frustration that he cannot find the way to communicate with me his needs. I understand him more than anyone else and yet he struggles to find the words that would make things so much easier. Why do I have to remind myself that he is a wonderful, exciting, dynamic boy with boundless energy and an amazing love. Why do I need to remind myself that that is in fact, enough?

Why do I get angry and frustrated with our adoption? Why has the time been extended? Why is going to take so much longer to bring my baby girl home? Why is there so much paperwork and so much of it asks the same questions only in a slightly different way? Why is it so expensive to give children that need a family and a home and love these things? Why to physically give birth to a child do you not have to first go through this extensive and costly process? Why do other families have no problem just asking people to give them money to fund a decision they have made, and why do I have such a problem with something that doesn't affect me in the slightest - except for the fact that I couldn't bring myself to do the same (stupid pride!). I tell me son that if he is torqued that his little brother is making a mess but it isn't affecting him to let it go...so why do I let this bother me? (Really I know the answer to this one - it's because I am selfish. Because I think of all of the "things" that I am doing without in order to make our dream a reality and I'm just selfish...human, wanting the "things" the "have it all." We have never gone the easy route and always prided ourselves on our budgeting and saving abilities, but that "reach my goal satisfaction" is a long way off).

...so these are a couple of things that I have been thinking of lately...until we had our first small group on Wednesday night and this was the subject. 'It's not fair to compare.' Nope, it's not. Thank you for the reminder God.

I know that I am blessed beyond measure. I know that You have a plan. I know that I have truly never wanted for anything and that all I have has come from You. I know that I need to trust. I know that I need to rely on my faith. I know that I need to keep my eye on my ball (so to speak). I know...I'm human, I have fallen and I need your forgiveness, mercy and grace. I know...so thank You for the reminder.

Growing up.

2009-08-20T15:01:00.001-05:00

My baby boy is starting school tomorrow… I simply can’t believe that time has gone by that quickly! It seems like it was yesterday that I was up at 3:30am with my 2mos old baby boy; looking down at his peaceful sleepy face and knowing that there was no way I could go back to work and hand this child over to someone else to take care of him everyday…and now my boy is starting to walk down his own path with out me. I am not the sentimental type that will cry over him going to school…but it does bring me to tears when I wonder if I have done enough for him over the past 5 years. Have I raised him with enough manners; with enough kindness; with enough strength. Nick has such a big heart but such a sensitive one. He loves big and hurts big and it scares me to think that other influences may change that…may hurt him…and there’s not much I can do anymore. I cannot take over…I need to let my little man learn how to take the good with the bad. To filter and to let things go. To know that he is an amazing and wonderful and loved little guy. To be strong in himself and what he believes. To be a friend to everyone just as he is now… He has taught me how to be a better mother and has been such a blessing and gift! I can slowly let go…I can trust that while I am not there with him that God is watching over him…I can do this…

I love you so much Muffin Man!

The past month.

2009-08-19T20:31:00.011-05:00

We got back from vacation and Nick had his last t-ball game on July 23d.

Is he not just the cutest!

Brian did say that there was a bit of an accident when as usual the kids started crowding the batter. Nick was up, took a swing and swiped a girls head. She was fine - more scared and shocked than anything - as was Nick who knowing he hurt someone but did it on accident...still brought tears to his eyes when he told me after he got home!

On July 24th we traveled up to WI for my Grandmothers birthday...golf, games and good food!

July 30th brought my mother down to IA for the weekend. We had a lot of fun talking, drinking a ton of coffee and getting in some shopping.

More t-ball pics...

An impromptu offer of Green Bay Packer scrimmage tickets had us traveling to WI yet again on Aug. 7th. We enjoyed some swimming at the hotel before joining my mother and nephew Logan.

Nathan was not really having the best time...this is him calling "enough"...we should have listened.

Logan - Cheese Head

Tailgating with my Aunt and her family - THANKS FOR THE GOOD TIME GANG!!

Nathan - exhausted but not giving in.

Finally!

The Nicks. (Nick Huston & Nick Becker)

Playing football...

"G" Green, Gold, Green Bay Packers

Unfortunately, by the time we were in the stadium and doing the wave and watching the players warm up and announcement was made that a lighting storm was headed our way and that we needed to evacuate the stadium and stay on the concourse. 2+hrs later and Nathan is in constant meltdown while the rest of us are sweating to death. Time To Go! Leaving the stadium we finally heard the announcement that they had in fact called the game - such a bummer! Maybe we will have to try again next year!

This is us...about 2 seconds before I say that I have had enough of Nate...crabby boy!!

Nick had his friend Silas over to play - those boys love the Wii!

Tator in the tubby!

Aug. 22nd - Bonfire, smores and fireworks!

Tuesday - Aug. 18th - Kinder Camp!

My big boy is going to be a Kindergartner!!!

Come on home...

2009-08-18T14:01:00.002-05:00

It isn’t the same with you not here… I feel like there is so much to get done and so much going on this week…and so far I’m doing a pretty good job of holding it together - but it all too painfully points out how much I rely on you. Maybe not so much for the big things…but for all of the other things, the little things that when I am “doing it all” I realize that “all” is a lot for one person to take on.

I can tell that my personality wears on Nick a bit more when you aren’t here…when he wakes up in the morning and his first request is for me to get back into bed with him, I see that he wants me to just slow down and be quiet with him. I can tell that he gets a little more quiet when I am getting upset at things that while they may not affect him, my attitude and response to them is and does. I know too, that you are always on his mind. Every wonderful thing that he wants to share...he reminds me that we need to share with you.

I miss you. I miss what you bring to my life…even by just being here, I know that you are there if I need you…but without you here, I sense that lack of a hand to hold me. While I am the pusher you are the one that steadies me as I go rushing forward.

I love you very much and I miss you.

We miss you.

Traveling to FL. - pictures

2009-07-19T19:27:00.002-05:00

Nate - never to happy to take posed pics.

Waiting for our delayed plane (#1) and eating the wising packed
sandwiches that Daddy made.

Flight #2 and everyone has crashed...

Vacation Day 6 - Friday

2009-07-17T17:56:00.003-05:00

So this morning was my morning to get up with the boys (will they never sleep in?)...and of course Nicholas wants to take a picture of me - great!

Jumping!

Monkey see - Monkey do!

Hottie!!

Nathan now refuses to go in the ocean with us and will just sit in the chairs eating chips and drinking his milk...guess that works for him!

Vacation Day 5 - Thursday

2009-07-16T20:40:00.004-05:00

Another great day - great weather, great swimming, great food, great fun!!

Vacation - Sunset

2009-07-16T10:26:00.001-05:00

Vacation Day 4 - Wednesday

2009-07-16T10:22:00.001-05:00

Vacation Thoughts...

2009-07-15T14:57:00.002-05:00

* I love reading a book with my feet in the sand and the view of the ocean in front of me.

* I love the sound the waves make rolling the sea shells onto the beach.

* I love that within an hour of my being awake, Nick has asked no less than 15 times if we are going to go swimming today.

* I love that upon leaving the pool Nick is asking when we are going to go swimming again.

* I love the taste of a cold Corona with a lime in the middle of the afternoon - on a Wednesday no less.

* I love that BOTH of my children are so exhausted that each afternoon they crash for good nap which equals a significant break for Brian and I.

* I love that the boys are having such a great time.

* I love that this is the ideal vacation for Brian and I.

* I love vacations.

Vacation Day 3 - Tuesday

2009-07-14T19:28:00.003-05:00

Randomness today... Here we are having breakfast this morning. We were referred to this restaurant with a "great breakfast buffet" but except for our waitress being wonderful, were less than impressed.

Of course there was more swimming today followed by the most delicious supper that Brian picked up for us - Chicken Marsala with a piece of key lime pie for desert - Yummy!!

Beautiful sunset!

While we are standing on the balcony and -in all honesty-- I am always scanning the water for sharks (irrational I know, but deathly afraid of them I am) when I see a fin in the water close to the beach...and then another one. "Ahhh!!" I scream to Brian (even though again, I am on the balcony - six floors up to be exact) "What is that!!" Of course my rational husband points out the curve in the fin and how the two "sharks" are rolling over the top of the water similar to say, two dolphins. Yes oh wise one, you are correct (as they continued to swim and crest and roll over the top of the water all the way across our stretch of beach)! Blessedly I am wrong. Pretty Amazing!

One other piece of randomness - their grass is weird here. Bermuda Grass Brian tells me. Long, thick, wide blades with jagged tips...very differed from our thin delicate strands that end in perfect tips.

Just weird...

Vacation Day 2 - Monday

2009-07-13T21:27:00.004-05:00

Today we were at the beach then the pool then back to the beach and the pool. In between times we ran to Walmart for some diapers and other necessities, all took a nap and had dinner and supper. Another great vacation day!

Back to the beach!

Tator loves his Cheetos breaks!

And back to the pool!

Vacation Day 1 - Sunday

2009-07-13T21:13:00.004-05:00

The boys liked the beach...

...Brian of course was all in for the ocean...

...the boys however thought it was cool, but were a bit unsure of the small waves.

Nick loves it!

Seashells everywhere!

Time for a snack break with Dad.

The view from our room - and a very cute Nicker!

Giving the pool a try.

Time for supper! What are we going to eat?

Nick - the weird finger finagler!

Obviously these genes come from Brian!

The biggest pizza I have ever seen (and it was delicious too!!).

Traveling to FL.

2009-07-13T20:22:00.005-05:00

The memory card adaptor for my little camera is at home, so I will have to post our travel pics when we get back.

So it really stinks when you loose the whole story of your travels and then you have to start again...but here we go...again.

So our first flight to Atlanta was delayed about a 1/2 hour, but the boys did excellent! Nick and Brian on one side with Nate and I on the other. We played cards, colored, looked at books and ate the sandwiches and granola bars that Daddy so wisely packed for us. Having our first flight run late of course we had to high-tale it through the Atlanta airport and while it was scheduled to leave at 1:45 and my watch said 1:40, they had already closed the doors. So now we had to hoof it back to the Delta counter to get re booked (along with a ton of other people who had missed their flight as well). Thank goodness we were bumped to another flight that was taking off shortly, so with a quick minute to buy a sandwich we were on our final flight to Florida. Unfortunately, being bumped, Nate was able to sit by Brian, but Nick was to sit alone right in front of Brian and I was about 4 row in front of that. Thankfully our stewardess asked the gentleman who would have had my seat to switch (which he did so begrudgingly which I thought was funny because I don't know any other guy that wouldn't switch sitting with a 5 year old who is by himself for a window seat, but whatever). Needless to say, it had been a long day for the boys already, and before takeoff Brian and I had two sleeping babies in our laps - AMEN! We touch downed in FL. got our bags and car seats, picked up our rental, and within 2 minutes of leaving the terminal it was a torrential downpour. What the heck!? Oh well, 1 hour drive left the rain and 70 degree temp behind for a wonderful and humid high 80s and sunny sky's. Pour Nick who was so looking forward to swimming right away had to wait for supper and groceries which left no time to swim. Oh well, we have all week to make up for that!

Our 4th of July.

2009-07-09T20:01:00.006-05:00

Our weekend with Brians family started off with a bang! Having talked about swimming, and jet skiing and water skiing for a week before we arrived, our biggest boy stepped up and decided that he would give water skiing a try - and he did - once. We really were just happy that he wanted to give it a shot. We are very proud of our Nicker!!

Uncle Jason & Daddy getting his feet in the boots.

Are we ready to say "Hit It!"?

Nathan enjoying the pool (one of the very few times he was happy this weekend).

Time for tubing with cousin Alexis while Grandpa takes Brayden for a ride.

My mother was also able to join us on Friday.

My main man - Hot stuff!!!

I love this picture of the boys!

WARNING! CUTE KID PICTURES AHEAD!!

ALEXIS

BRAYDEN

THE NICKER

The one and only time I got in the frigid water (it was so cold my feet became numb!) was to play with the boys. Yes, this is me and I look terrible - thank goodness they don't care!

Grandpa and Nick riding on the tractor.

This was a favorite game of the weekend for both of the boys!

On Saturday morning we were awake and ready to try out Nicks fishing pole. While he didn't catch anything, he sure had fun digging up worms with Daddy and casting!

Now it's Nates turn! Daddy and Nate before heading out on the jet ski - he loved it!!!

Nicker fell asleep on the pontoon ride with Grandma (which accounts for the sleepy face!).

The Family.

Another exciting day...

2009-06-30T07:31:00.000-05:00

(photographed by Nick)

2009-06-28T22:08:00.003-05:00

and let's not forget about this little man whom I love SO MUCH as well!
Unfortunately for us (and him), this was about the only time he smiled this whole weekend. Something in the air? In the water? I don't know, but he was crabby as a coot this weekend!! Let's hope that tomorrow brings a fresh start to a new week!!
Either way, I do love you tator baby!

2009-06-28T08:11:00.001-05:00

I AM A CHRISTIAN
By Carol Wimmer
When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not shouting, "I've been saved!"

I'm whispering, "I get lost! That's why I chose this way"

When I say, "I am a Christian," I don't speak with human pride

I'm confessing that I stumble-needing God to be my guide

When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not trying to be strong

I'm professing that I'm weak and pray for strength to carry on

When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not bragging of success

I'm admitting that I've failed and cannot ever pay the debt

When I say, "I am a Christian," I don't think I know it all

I submit to my confusion asking humbly to be taught

When I say, "I am a Christian," I'm not claiming to be perfect

My flaws are far too visible but God believes I'm worth it

When I say, "I am a Christian," I still feel the sting of pain

I have my share of heartache which is why I seek His name

When I say, "I am a Christian," I do not wish to judge

I have no authority--I only know I'm loved

Nicker

2009-06-27T22:31:00.002-05:00

Is this boy not just absolutely adorable!! Ahh - breaks my heart!

He is such a chatterbox lately! So much to talk about and share and show. He also has realized that Mom loves it when he makes her laugh, so with his different voices and lines, he is my little comedian too. I love you so much my big boy!!

...and this is a picture that Nick took of me and the Tator.

Soccer Pics

2009-06-27T22:24:00.002-05:00

So the week of Soccer Camp ended well with Nick saying he "wanted to play soccer all night long!" It was still a long week of "I want to be done" and "I love soccer", so we will take the bad with the good and say the we will definitely have him trying again. (Thanks for the pep talk Marsha!!).

Happy Birthday Brian (pics)

2009-06-27T22:18:00.001-05:00

chillin' with the fella's...

Water Park Fun! (June 20th)

2009-06-27T22:10:00.002-05:00

T-Ball

2009-06-27T22:02:00.002-05:00

T-Ball started on June 16th... Interesting night as Nick didn't know quite what to make of it. We thought it was funny at one point that Nick must have told one of his coaches that he didn't know how to hit the ball and needed instruction (since when?) and then of course, check out that arm!!

June 12 - 14th (WI)

2009-06-27T21:45:00.003-05:00

On the 11th, Brian and I went to see Kenny Chesney, Miranda Lambert & Lady A - such a good concert!!! Too bad I only have pictures of Kenny!

The next morning we headed up to see my family in WI. We had a great time staying with Grandma, enjoying June Bug Days and playing with our cousins!!

HOW TO KNOW IF YOU ARE READY TO BE A PARENT

2009-06-26T13:59:00.001-05:00

MESS TEST:
Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.

TOY TEST:
Obtain a 55 gallon box of Lego’s (or you may substitute roofing tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blind fold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.

GROCERY STORE TEST:
Borrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight and pay for anything they eat or damage.

DRESSING TEST:
Obtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.

FEEDING TEST:
Obtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend it from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal in the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Then just dump the contacts of the jug on the floor.

NIGHT TEST:
Prepare by obtaining a small cloth bag and fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak the bag and sand thoroughly in water. At 3:00 p.m. begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00 p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00 p.m. Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up about a dozen more, and sing these too until 4:00 a.m. Set your alarm for 5:00 a.m. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years, while looking cheerful.

INGENUITY TEST:
Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a pot of paint, turn it into an alligator. Now take a toilet paper tube and turn it into an attractive Christmas candle using only scotch tab and a piece of foil. Last, take a milk carton, a Ping-Pong ball, and an empty box of Cocoa Puffs and make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower.

FINAL ASSIGNMENT:
Find a couple who already has a small child or children. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training or child’s table manners. Make many suggestions as to how they can do things better. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild, scream, talk back and more…

…and enjoy this experience, because it will be the last time that you will have all the answers.

Something to look forward to ?

2009-06-24T20:46:00.002-05:00

So Brian and I were talking tonight about the excitement and anticipation of our future and the possibilites...and then I read this post from Jody's blog. Couldn't stop laughing! We will just have to wait and see...

When the going gets tough...??

2009-06-24T16:09:00.001-05:00

I know I’m not the only parent that struggles with things like these…

I know that I’m not the only parent that weighs these types of decisions so heavily on my heart and mind as I know what I am decided for my children today will be the example they weigh their own decisions against in the future…

Even thought I am not alone – it doesn’t ease my internal struggle.

Let me explain.

Nicholas started his week long soccer camp this past Monday – this week being the hottest week of the year so far with temps in the mid to upper 90’s and the humidity at an almost unbearable level – so I realize that this was not ideal for the whole pep talk of “Hey, won’t this be great!”, however this is not going as expected…

My son LOVES to play soccer in our yard! He loves to kick the ball around, make goals, and play with mom & dad – LOVES IT! And while I realize that with my not putting this on our calendar and not having the time to prep him for the upcoming event, that this was sprung on him the morning of, I am amazed at his lack of interest.

He shows no interest in actually participating in the games the coach is organizing and refuses to listen to just about everything he says! ½ way through the hour on the first day, Nick comes back to me and states that he wants to go home – he is done. It is too hard.

Now what to do –
-show my son that even while this was chosen for him, that it is ok to quit when you feel things are hard, or
-be an example of sticking it out until the end (meanwhile both him and I will be miserable).

I don’t want to raise a quitter, but I also do not need to be away from work for about an hour and forty minutes each day watching him hate me.

So I pulled dad into this.

Having a conversation last night that involved calm discussion, we have persuaded Nick to give it another shot. We pulled as many examples as we could of things that he now enjoys that he once told us were to hard or to scary (going down the water slide alone, jumping off the side of the pool, riding his bike etc).

We will see how it ended up going today…

Not that this is the first time I have thought this, but I am stating it for the record: This parenting things is the most difficult (and rewarding) job EVER!!

Brian.

2009-06-21T21:37:00.003-05:00

While I am definately behind on posting our lives...I didn't want to pass up what today is.

Today is Fathers Day.

Today is Brians Birthday.

So, Happy Birthday Brian & Happy Fathers Day.

I love you for being my partner and best friend.

We love you for being a wonderful and loving father.

Sunday Fun

2009-06-08T22:10:00.002-05:00

It was sticky and hot on Sunday... So I thought it would be a great idea for a water balloon fight!

It took a little while for Nick to get the concept of "fighting back" (after he saw Brian and I go after each other, he got the hint)...and even Nate joined in the fun after a while. At least both of the boys are good sports about getting wet!

So Happy That Daddy is Back!

2009-06-08T22:06:00.002-05:00

Biker Boy

2009-06-08T22:03:00.002-05:00

1 year and 4 months after getting his new bike for his birthday (thank you Grandpa Keith) Nicholas took the initiative to WANT to ride it...and now we can't get him to stop!

Little Slugger

2009-06-07T18:10:00.002-05:00

Memorial Weekend with the Grandpa & Grandma

2009-06-07T09:43:00.002-05:00

So I am just a bit behind... Memorial weekend, Brians parents came down to spend some time with us. They were a big help with the closet, the kids...and of course getting ready for the fishing trip to Canada. It was a great weekend!

Growing up.

2009-06-03T12:27:00.002-05:00

So last night on our way home from daycare Nick (as usual) asks if we can listen to his song.

Now "my song" has changed several times over the last year...from Lady Antebellum "Just Lookin' for a Good Time" to Sandy Patti's "Miracle" to Lady Ga Ga's "Pokerface"...however one that he has really stuck with for the last couple of months is Casting Crowns "What This World Needs" (have the cd - love it - can listen to the whole thing over and over and never get tired of it!!!).

So back to last night...Nick wanted to listen to his song so I complied. "What This World Needs" started playing and I hear my little man in the back saying the words every once in a while. They get a part in the song where they have a little mantra of kids saying what the world doesn't need which ends with "maybe we should just get out of the way" and my 5 year old son repeats this and proceeds to say...

N - ...like get out of the way of God?

M - Yes Nick. The song is saying that nobody needs our views of the Bible, or of God, or of Jesus, they just need Him and His Word.

N - Jesus...hmmm....Jesus....like at Awannas? Like Jesus loves Nick?

M - Yes! Like Jesus loves you! And you learned more about Him at Awannas?

N - Yes!

M - Jesus loves you very much Nick! And He loves Nathan and Mommy too!

N - And Daddy?

M - Yes, Daddy too!

N - ...and Silas, and Ava (friends from church & pre-k) and Mommy and Nathan and Daddy and
Me... And Tina (his daycare gal) and Grandpa and Grandma... And the trees and branches...

M - Yes Nick...God created the trees and the branches and the sun and the sky...God made all of it!

N- Yes, but God made the rain, so we can't see the sun now.

And at that point I had to smile... My little boy is starting to get it...Gods love and what that means to him...and at the same time that God made the rain and that with that rain we can't see the sun...but that doesn't mean it isn't there...

And that sums up God for all of us doesn't it...always there, whether we can see Him or not.

Comic Relief Jr.

2009-06-01T21:17:00.003-05:00

So this week Brian is gone to Canada fishing - and hopefully catching - with his father, sister and brother-in-law. He left on Friday evening and will be back this week Saturday sometime. Before he left I told him he better come back prepared, because who knows what I will hit him with this year (last year he left right after the earthquakes in China which is what started me thinking, and then us traveling down the adoption road)!! Twins?? hahaha!

So, while he is in Canada, doing what he loves to do and re-filling his cup, the boys and I are here...living out our normal lives.

It kind of hit me today, and then in the silence of the house tonight, that we (may just me?) marry those that bring things into our life that we never had. For me, Brian is my stability, my comic relief, my lets-try-new-things-outdoors (I am all things new indoors), and more. What amazes me and fills my heart, is when I see him in our children. For instance tonight, with Nick...

Tonight, on our way home from picking them up at Tinas, I asked Nick "Hey bud, what would you like for supper?" to which he replies "A million dollars."

Just like that.

Serious in tone, until I start my crazy laugh and he starts giggling hysterically.

What??

Yeah, sure pal, right after me!!

So, needless to say, I wasn't able to serve up the moola, so instead I took my little men and my coupons to the drive through at Culvers for a couple of free kids meals. While we are leaving the parking lot (and I am listening to my children, but navigating around other vehicles, so I didn't respond) I hear this conversation from Nick:

"So, who would like to play the Wii with me when we get home?"

"No one?"

"Ok then, just one player. Me"

And while any other person might not find this absolutely gut busting, if you knew Nick and you could have heard this little matter-of-fact voice in the back...you would be doubling over right now too!

Quick Wit, I miss you so much, but Jr. here is learning how to keep mommy smiling!!

Our week long project...

2009-05-24T22:43:00.002-05:00

Now THAT is organized!

Last Day of Pre-K!

2009-05-24T22:05:00.006-05:00

Nick had his last day of PreK today (5/20)!

The day it began.....and today it was done.

Just Nick.

Spring has Sprung!

2009-05-24T22:02:00.000-05:00

First little sprouts from our garden!

Family Movie Night.

2009-05-24T21:54:00.001-05:00

Being Silly.

2009-05-24T21:51:00.001-05:00

Happy Mothers Day...to me.

2009-05-24T21:47:00.002-05:00

While I don't have any pictures of the boys and myself...

...here are the flowers & card that I received from them...

and from my in-laws.

Women of Faith - A Grand New Day

2009-05-24T21:17:00.004-05:00

May 1st & 2nd - Women of Faith in Des Moines IA.

Sandi Patty, Steven Curtis Chapman, Mandisa, Henry Cloud, Allison Allen, Patsy Clairmont, Marilyn Meberg, Luci Swindoll, Sheila Walsh, & Lisa Whelchel

Wonderful, thought provoking, change of heart, tear jerking experience...

Pre-K Spring Program

2009-05-24T20:59:00.003-05:00

Nick had his final Preschool Spring Program this morning (4/29)...

...they're looking at me...

Ok, I guess I can smile.

Tina came to watch you and Silas (Nate & Abbey - so cute!!)

Ringing the bells.

Daddy & Nicker

Kindergarten Visit!

2009-05-24T20:55:00.002-05:00

Nick had his Kindergarten visit today (4/24)... While we are waiting to here if his transfer request was approved (if approved, he will be able to walk to a from our daycare providers), we got to visit the school in our district (?) which was pretty exciting!! He has changed SO much from when he first started pre-k - I can't even imagine what the next couple of years are going to be like!!

Catch Up

2009-05-24T20:54:00.002-05:00

Wow, I am really behind on the whole blogging thing...so the following is going to be a real "batch process" of the past months events... I will try to not let this happen again =)

Play (T) Ball!

2009-04-28T21:43:00.005-05:00

With T-ball starting up for Nick in a couple of months it was time to get out there and learn the basics! We had such a good time with all of us taking turns - running the 'bases' (trees) - being in the outfield...

Can you see the excitement?!

Concentration...

Nate is all in!

Big brother there to supervise.

Mom is in the outfield - Nick is at bat

Swing!

Watch out Nathan!

Run Run Run!

The NEW trees are here!!

2009-04-28T21:24:00.002-05:00

Slowly but surely we are pulling our yard together. While we still have to get the lawn up to par, and the garden is just getting started (box but no dirt), the pine trees along the perimeter are here - and what a difference they make! Nick - pulling from our excitement - wanted to have his picture taken with every tree (mean mommy stopped after 3 when she saw where he was taking this).

Popcorn (fka Opcorn)

2009-04-28T21:08:00.004-05:00

I couldn't help taking pictures of Nick helping Brian make popcorn on Sunday...the memories...

He was about 2 years old and you just had to mention popcorn and he would get excited, run to the pantry and point to the popcorn maker shouting "Op-corn Opcorn". My little muffin...how time has flown by!

THEN...

...AND NOW

(trying to catch up) Last week Friday...

2009-04-28T20:26:00.003-05:00

So last week Friday, I definitely took the best day off of work - it was sunny and hot - a beautiful day.

To start our day, Nicholas had his Kindergarten visit...then we had lunch at McD's and then his Dr apt in the afternoon. When Brian came home with Nate, we were outside playing, mowing the lawn and just enjoying the day; not coming in until well after dark. Even then, it was a quick tubbie and we were back outside for a bonfire and smores. What a great day!!

Fun with Chalk

2009-04-28T19:46:00.004-05:00

So the chalk gun that Nick got for his birthday worked for all of 20 seconds-despite trying out 5 sets of batteries...

...so it was on to the more traditional!

Nate & Mommy drawing.

Oh do I!

Nicholas driving on the 'road' and Brian drawing a face.

The boys with Brian's guy - looks a little creepy to me!

Sick baby...the end.

2009-04-20T22:14:00.001-05:00

Well, Nate has been on the mend all day...and I think we are in the clear.

I have been briefed all day that we started with crackers, had a couple of bits of hot dog and finally ate a half of a sandwich - all of it staying where it belongs - WOOHOO!

Now lets hope the rest of us stay healthy.

Please.

Sick baby...

2009-04-16T09:33:00.003-05:00

So today I am home with a sick little man... not exactly the day off I have been wanting/envisioning as of late!

My apologies to the moms/little guys he was around last night as we did not know this was coming on (do we ever?)!

Nonetheless, if it makes anyone feel better, here has been our morning so far...

Nate shows up bedside at about 5:55 a.m. - I haul him into bed beside me knowing that I have a couple of more minutes before I need to hit the shower - I roll over trying to rest just a few more minutes when I hear some gagging and my boy gets sick all over my pillow. At the moment he is on outfit #3 of the day

In between being sick though, is a generally happy little guy who continues to want to stay hydrated - good for him and me - bad for the carpet and the washing machine.

I'm telling you - days like these would make excellent birth control for teens!!

~~~~~SICK BABY UPDATE~~~~~

So it is now 6:30 p.m. - we are on outfit #3 for me and #7 for him. Yes, this has been a great day (can you read the sarcasm?).

Brian is about to take Nick to get his hair cut. I told him that when he comes back, the next shift is his.

Uhg.

Easter Weekend.

2009-04-13T21:44:00.003-05:00

We had such a great weekend with the Beckers driving down to join us! Even though I had to work on Sat. - the kids loved the fact that they could come down and "drive" the tractors! Because of Jim & Jason, Brian got a ton of projects done around the house (we are now ready for the trees to be delivered and our garden to begin among other things), and because of Michelle & Alexis, Halley had her hair cut and had a ton of exercise! Sunday of course was church and such good food and to top it all off, the Easter egg hunt!! We all had such a great weekend...we miss you already!

Decorating Eggs

2009-04-13T21:31:00.000-05:00