Love-a-the-Ribs!!

Aug 21st & 22nd - RIB FEST!!

On Saturday afternoon we took the boys with us to Rib Fest in Davenport - SO GOOD! We tried several of the vendors ribs and had to come back to the same group that we loved when we first went 3 years ago - 'Lick My Ribs' - they are the best!!

Finger lickin' good!

The boys - loving their chips!

They also had also had some bounce houses for the kids to enjoy...at one point it came down to Nick asking for both the carmel popcorn AND more bouncing. Given the choice of one, he choose the bouncing!

Once Tator got hold of the lemonade, it was all his!

Nicks first day of Kindergarten!

Nicks first day of Kindergarten was GREAT! ...and I mean GREAT! He was so excited to wear his new Mario shirt, get his backpack and was more than ready to say goodbye and start walking down to the bus! Unfortunately for him (and for us as we would later find out!) we had decided that we didn't know how well he would take to new things so we decided to drop him off for the the first week or so and then switch to the bus later if Nick was ok with it (well, turns out we can't switch to the bus - unless we are ok with him being picked up at 8:07 - yeah, no.). So needless to say, we should have had a bit more faith in our boy and let him ride the bus as the drop off at school was not so great. He played shy and scared for about 45min while I stood there with him in the gym as kids from our neighborhood that he plays with ALL THE TIME came and went and tried to engage him. Ahh - that was frustrating! But, I was able to leave and upon picking him up that evening from the Y he had an amazing smile on his face, told me he had a good day and upon further questioning told me that he had "already talked once!" with a big hugh...ah yes, you are 5!

Now that it has been a couple of weeks he has nothing but good things to say about school! He loves his teacher "Missers" (Mrs.) Green. He loves his friends, riding the bus and "playing sports" at the Y.

We couldn't be happier!

...a bit nervous...

...a lot excited...

...and just plain ready to go!

Daddy trying to get a last minute hug.

It's Not Fair To Compare

...nope. It's not - but that doesn't mean we don't. That doesn't mean I don't. And it doesn't make me a happier person. It doesn't make me a better person. So why do I do it?

Why do I compare my baby to other children his age and get angry that only until recently did he call me mommy? Why do I get frustrated with his frustration that he cannot find the way to communicate with me his needs. I understand him more than anyone else and yet he struggles to find the words that would make things so much easier. Why do I have to remind myself that he is a wonderful, exciting, dynamic boy with boundless energy and an amazing love. Why do I need to remind myself that that is in fact, enough?

Why do I get angry and frustrated with our adoption? Why has the time been extended? Why is going to take so much longer to bring my baby girl home? Why is there so much paperwork and so much of it asks the same questions only in a slightly different way? Why is it so expensive to give children that need a family and a home and love these things? Why to physically give birth to a child do you not have to first go through this extensive and costly process? Why do other families have no problem just asking people to give them money to fund a decision they have made, and why do I have such a problem with something that doesn't affect me in the slightest - except for the fact that I couldn't bring myself to do the same (stupid pride!). I tell me son that if he is torqued that his little brother is making a mess but it isn't affecting him to let it go...so why do I let this bother me? (Really I know the answer to this one - it's because I am selfish. Because I think of all of the "things" that I am doing without in order to make our dream a reality and I'm just selfish...human, wanting the "things" the "have it all." We have never gone the easy route and always prided ourselves on our budgeting and saving abilities, but that "reach my goal satisfaction" is a long way off).

...so these are a couple of things that I have been thinking of lately...until we had our first small group on Wednesday night and this was the subject. 'It's not fair to compare.' Nope, it's not. Thank you for the reminder God.

I know that I am blessed beyond measure. I know that You have a plan. I know that I have truly never wanted for anything and that all I have has come from You. I know that I need to trust. I know that I need to rely on my faith. I know that I need to keep my eye on my ball (so to speak). I know...I'm human, I have fallen and I need your forgiveness, mercy and grace. I know...so thank You for the reminder.

Growing up.

My baby boy is starting school tomorrow… I simply can’t believe that time has gone by that quickly! It seems like it was yesterday that I was up at 3:30am with my 2mos old baby boy; looking down at his peaceful sleepy face and knowing that there was no way I could go back to work and hand this child over to someone else to take care of him everyday…and now my boy is starting to walk down his own path with out me. I am not the sentimental type that will cry over him going to school…but it does bring me to tears when I wonder if I have done enough for him over the past 5 years. Have I raised him with enough manners; with enough kindness; with enough strength. Nick has such a big heart but such a sensitive one. He loves big and hurts big and it scares me to think that other influences may change that…may hurt him…and there’s not much I can do anymore. I cannot take over…I need to let my little man learn how to take the good with the bad. To filter and to let things go. To know that he is an amazing and wonderful and loved little guy. To be strong in himself and what he believes. To be a friend to everyone just as he is now… He has taught me how to be a better mother and has been such a blessing and gift! I can slowly let go…I can trust that while I am not there with him that God is watching over him…I can do this…

I love you so much Muffin Man!

The past month.

We got back from vacation and Nick had his last t-ball game on July 23d.

Is he not just the cutest!

Brian did say that there was a bit of an accident when as usual the kids started crowding the batter. Nick was up, took a swing and swiped a girls head. She was fine - more scared and shocked than anything - as was Nick who knowing he hurt someone but did it on accident...still brought tears to his eyes when he told me after he got home!

On July 24th we traveled up to WI for my Grandmothers birthday...golf, games and good food!

July 30th brought my mother down to IA for the weekend. We had a lot of fun talking, drinking a ton of coffee and getting in some shopping.

More t-ball pics...

An impromptu offer of Green Bay Packer scrimmage tickets had us traveling to WI yet again on Aug. 7th. We enjoyed some swimming at the hotel before joining my mother and nephew Logan.

Nathan was not really having the best time...this is him calling "enough"...we should have listened.

Logan - Cheese Head

Tailgating with my Aunt and her family - THANKS FOR THE GOOD TIME GANG!!

Nathan - exhausted but not giving in.

Finally!

The Nicks. (Nick Huston & Nick Becker)

Playing football...

"G" Green, Gold, Green Bay Packers

Unfortunately, by the time we were in the stadium and doing the wave and watching the players warm up and announcement was made that a lighting storm was headed our way and that we needed to evacuate the stadium and stay on the concourse. 2+hrs later and Nathan is in constant meltdown while the rest of us are sweating to death. Time To Go! Leaving the stadium we finally heard the announcement that they had in fact called the game - such a bummer! Maybe we will have to try again next year!

This is us...about 2 seconds before I say that I have had enough of Nate...crabby boy!!

Nick had his friend Silas over to play - those boys love the Wii!

Tator in the tubby!

Aug. 22nd - Bonfire, smores and fireworks!

Tuesday - Aug. 18th - Kinder Camp!

My big boy is going to be a Kindergartner!!!

Come on home...

It isn’t the same with you not here… I feel like there is so much to get done and so much going on this week…and so far I’m doing a pretty good job of holding it together - but it all too painfully points out how much I rely on you. Maybe not so much for the big things…but for all of the other things, the little things that when I am “doing it all” I realize that “all” is a lot for one person to take on.

I can tell that my personality wears on Nick a bit more when you aren’t here…when he wakes up in the morning and his first request is for me to get back into bed with him, I see that he wants me to just slow down and be quiet with him. I can tell that he gets a little more quiet when I am getting upset at things that while they may not affect him, my attitude and response to them is and does. I know too, that you are always on his mind. Every wonderful thing that he wants to share...he reminds me that we need to share with you.

I miss you. I miss what you bring to my life…even by just being here, I know that you are there if I need you…but without you here, I sense that lack of a hand to hold me. While I am the pusher you are the one that steadies me as I go rushing forward.

I love you very much and I miss you.

We miss you.