And Another.

I don't know why I am taking so many pictures of the boys sleeping these days... Maybe it's because it is a rare time that they are so peaceful. Maybe it's because it reminds me of when I used to watch them sleep as babies. Either way...I couldn't NOT take the picture below...ahh my heart... Close brothers...sleeping babies...their teddy and their lion (their personalities in their lovies!)...My Boys.

The pursuit of perfection is a horrible waste of time.

The strive for excellence will be tolerated.

--I have no idea who originally said this as it was quoted to me,

but I loved it as it is something I should remember daily.

Faith, Peace, Grace, Perseverance, Character & Hope.

Romans 5:1-5 Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we[a]have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Amazing

So Brian and I are sitting in church last night and I will be honest - my mind was not on the sermon. Not focused on what the pastor was saying, but thinking about words that another man had said - a question I had been asked.

"Why is it that you don't trust Brian with your emotions?"

And in sitting in church trying to reason with my own mind I realized something else... Aside from trusting Brian, much less anyone else with my emotions, I am not trusting God.

Whoa.

Wasn't expecting that to pop into my head.

But the more I thought about it, the more true it was.

Not that I out rightly didn't trust God (Hello! It's God!), but that I had more trust in myself. I could always take care of myself. I could always do things on my own. I didn't need to rely on anyone.

This conversation in my mind went on for a while and for quite a bit longer...but after getting home and putting the boys to bed I figured that this was probably something that I should share with Brian. This conversation with him went on for a while - and it was good - good sharing, good conversation between the two of us.

So tonight, after supper, we read a couple of chapters from our small group book "A Quest For More" by Paul David Tripp...the first chapter being on Forgiveness...something that has been on my mind a lot these days. So I can't help but want to share...because it just hit me so deep...

Asking for forgiveness is so hard because of what it says about life and what it says about me. ... You cannot admit a wrong without being hit with the fact that there are bigger things in life that how you feel and how you feel about how you feel. You see, it's our sturdy allegiance to our own kingdom that makes us unwilling to confess that we have gotten in the way of Gods kingdom on earth. ... My allegiance to my own kingdom is deep in the DNA of my sinful nature, causing me to be self-centered, self-righteous, condemning, and impatient. In know what I want. I know what will make me happy. I have a vision for what my life could be like, and you are constantly getting in the way of the plans and purposes of my kingdom. ... Asking for forgiveness is hard because you have to admit to why you need it so frequently. It is hard because you have to face the fact that with all of your growth in grace, biblical literacy, ministry experience, and theological acumen, you still revert again and again to the pursuit of your own kingdom interests. ... Seeking forgiveness is always the result of having another kingdom in view. You are owning the fact that you were not made for you. Even though I have challenged his kingship and thought that I would make a better king, he has not rejected me or condemned me. Not, he has wrapped his forgiving arms around me and invited me to be part of something infinitely more beautiful than anything I would have ever chosen for myself. ... It's hard to ask for forgiveness because asking for forgiveness is war. ... This war is fought every day on the turf of my heart. But I do not fight this ware alone. The King, who has welcomed me into his better kingdom is a Warrior King who will continue to fight on my behalf until the last enemy is under his feet. ... He will not sit idly by and permit his kingdom children to live with a greater practical allegiance to the building of their own kingdoms. So he fights for the freedom of our souls. He battles for the control of our hearts. He works to liberate our desires and to focus our thoughts. And as he does this, he calls us to humbly confess that we really do love ourselves more than we love him and others. ... If his kingdom is ever to fully and completely come, it must be a kingdom of forgiveness where rebel citizens can be made right again and again and again.

How true...How amazing...that's all I can say...

Tator Baby

Photo shoot

While Nicker & I were all over our little photo shoot...

...Nathan wanted nothing to do with it.

Beautiful Baby Boys

Friends, Fun & Margaritas

Heidi's Happy Birthday!

Margaritas, Chips & Salsa - Love 'em!

Friends - Love them even more!!!

What's on my mind...Forgiveness.

When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free.
-Catherine Ponder

To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you.
-Lewis B. Smedes

"I can forgive, but I cannot forget", is only another way of saying, I will not forgive. Forgiveness ought to be like a cancelled note - torn in two, and burned up, so that it never can be shown against one.
-Henry Ward Beecher

Saturday Morning Silence

So it is Saturday morning...I'm at home...and it is...quiet...

Am I dreaming (no, because then I would hear children screaming)...

I must be in Heaven...or my earthly version of it!

I have received a priceless gift - a weekend in my own home - without my husband OR my children.

Yes, this is Heaven.

Brian and the boys left on Thursday night - Brian to go up north ice fishing (yes people, it is -20+ below here in Iowa and my hubby chose to go NORTH! Craziness!) and the boys are staying at my sisters and then my mothers having a great time with their cousins and Grandma.

And me?

While I of course did have to work yesterday, I got to sleep all Thursday night...not waking up to children, or Brian...not having to get anyone ready Friday morning but myself. Blissful selfishness!

I slept in this morning! I cleaned the kitchen without being interrupted, did the dishes, started the laundry and put toys back where they belong. I drank a whole pot of coffee - in silence. I took a shower and again was not interrupted...I actually had enough time to shave my legs!

I am dressed and ready and now plan to make the most of my day. I'm going to go shopping all by myself - with time enough to browse and not rush. I am going to bring a book and take myself out to dinner (haven't eaten alone since pre-babies!! ahh I miss those days!). I might even go to a movie - all by myself...

...and I couldn't be happier...

Because I know that my man and my boy and my baby will be home tomorrow...their shouts and screams and noise and craziness will all be back. As well as their kisses and their hugs and their love.

So I will make the most of my time. I will enjoy it for the wonderful gift that it is...

...because it could be years before I ever get this again!

Wii were Heros...

Well, we did it. We caved. And Nick couldn't be more pleased.

Pack up all of his Christmas presents...this is what he really wanted.

the Wii.

As of yet, we just have the Wii Sports and Guitar Hero...but they are enough.

Bowling, Boxing...Nick is all over this! And Brian and myself did have a ton of fun playing GH too!

Do you want to go snowing?

" Do you want to go snowing?"

This is what Nicholas asks when he wants to go sledding.

Then he refuses to smile for the camera...turkey!

Could this little muffin be any more adorable? I think not!

To bad he is only like this about 10% of the time.

Sunday Morning Stats

So I'm feeling fairly productive...that will change when I go to work tomorrow, and see the mountain that I have to climb...but for now, I have cleaned out the fridge, almost done with laundry, updated my blog (important stuff!!), played with the babies, cleaned the spare room, payed the bills... Left on the list is: clean up/organize scrapbook stuff, clean/organize the toys in the basement, take Nick to a birthday party.

Wish me luck!

Tubby Time

Lions & Golden Retreivers

Last night was our first time back with our small group in quite a while...good to get over the hump of the last time...good to get back...

Of course we had missed out on a lot - we knew we were coming in behind - and lucky for us, it didn't matter! Instead of going back to our book, we watched a very funny and interesting video on different personality types.

What is funny is that between Brian and myself, our types were not a surprise to us - but when put in the context of our children...well, Nicholas is still Brian, and Nathan is still me - all the way!!

LIONS (Michelle & Nathan):
take charge, go for it, decisive/easy to make decisions, leader, visionary, aggressive, "the boss", time from is NOW. In Communication: no chit-chat/give me the facts, asking ?s to Lions comes across as challenging them. Things to Learn: people are more important than projects, it's ok to relax, increase communication level.

GOLDEN RETRIEVERS (Brian & Nicholas):
sensitive, supportive, nurturing, can absorb the most emotional pain, can't say no, great listeners, desire deep relationships, carry the emotional weight of others, wallflower

...other types were...

OTTER:
parties waiting to happen, love to talk/very verbal, love being with people, great net workers, talk to everyone, love to have fun, don't mind being late, motivators, encourages, enthusiastic, not into details, Common Phrase - "Lighten up!" Things to Learn: deadlines aren't guidelines, don't be so optimistic that you miss issues to be addressed

BEAVER:
reads instructions, "lets do it right" attitude, persistent, enjoys and looks forward to quiet times, team player, good follow through

So, not new to us...but interesting none the less!

Also interesting was this phrase: Your weakness' are your strengths pushed to the extreme.

Very true...and something to think about when my spouce is annoying me (or the other way around!)...what I truly love about him is what drives me nuts!

Ahhh...that's love!

~FRUSTRATING~

The whole day...possibly going through the week...I don't know.

It has been a very FRUSTRATING day at work - a lot of information coming my way, and so much of it hush/hush that I have to keep it to myself. I love the fact that I am trusted by my peers...but at the same point, that makes for a very misunderstood me by my fellow co-workers. Where they think I am holding back and withholding information...well, I am and I must. I never signed up wanting to be voted the prom queen but it still hurts when others don't like you even though they don't know you or the full story. Also I am FRUSTRATED that my once happy and challenging job is now being pulled in three different directions by three different Sr. Management and I will be very unhappy of two of the three make my position what they would like it to be. FRUSTRATING!! Oh well I guess...tomorrow is another day and there will be new hurdles to jump over right?

It has been very FRUSTRATING coming home - dinner to make, a husband to argue with and a son who will not eat his supper...and is still sitting at the dinner table (currently 6:44 p.m.) and he has 4 bites left of his 5 bit minimum. FRUSTRATING when you have a child who is so picky...who tells you that they don't want the food that you made...who refuses to try new things... Now I know how my Mom felt. I guess maybe he will grow up one day too and realize that he missed out on so many enjoyable meals...and then he can say the same things about his kids.

It will be very FRUSTRATING trying to sleep tonight - for some reason in the last two weeks I have been consistently and annoyingly waking up around 3-3:30 in the morning an am either unable to fall back asleep or do so about 20 minutes before my alarm goes off at 6. Looking forward to another night of lacking sleep.

So it has been and will be one of those FRUSTRATING days...

(and Nicholas still hasn't touched bite #4)

A Day in the Life of Nick

Nick, what did you do today?

Uh...I do...went to the Dr. and my eyes. I got my tongue to say "Ahhh." Uhh...I got a shot. (What should have been the first day back to pre-school and Nick woke up with pink-eye in both eyes. Since they were going to the Dr. anyway, Brian decided to have them both get flu shots)

Did it hurt?

Yes, it did hurt! What else Mommy?

What did you do after you went to the Dr.?

The Dr. say my belly, on my tummy...

The Dr. pushed on your tummy?

Yeah.

Did they give you drops for your eyes?

Yes.

What did you do then?

I do...I do...I do...what I do?

Where did you go with Daddy?

Daddy...Daddy...

Did you go shopping with Daddy?

Yeah, I go shopping with Daddy!

What were you looking for?

I'm looking games and stuff.

Like what?

Like the Mario Kart! (We have been on a mission to find a Wii and as of yet have been unsuccessful! ...and Nicker wants Mario Kart so much!)

Where did you go to lunch?

I go to lunch at the cheese sandwich, and juice, and the steps. (Brian brought him to Panara which is where I usually take the boys and they get a grilled cheese sandwich. In Davenport Nick always loves climbing the steps because we would always practice our counting on them)

But did Daddy get you the juice?

Yeah, Daddy get me the juice, cheese sandwich. (What really happened per Brian was that he actually ordered Nick milk...until Nick corrected him)

So did you find Mario Kart?

Hmm...no. I didn't have tickets Mommy. (I have no idea what he means with the tickets)

But did you have fun day?

Yes! But Daddy asked me to two stores but one store. I want to go to two stores...then we can go home...that's why.

Do you love Daddy?

No, I like Mommy. (I had to do it! When I ask him this question, his typical response is "No, I love Mommy and Nathan loves Daddy")

Party Party Party

Good times with Great Friends...and an introduction to Guitar Hero!

Sunday Thoughts by Brian

Brians thoughts for the morning:

"We should hire a nanny to come in and deal with our children from about 6a.m. until about 9a.m."

Love it!!!

While we both love our children immensely, it does not matter how late they stay up, they always get up between 5:30 and 6 o'clock every morning; and of course like typical children, if we need them up at that time and are up ourselves - that is the morning they sleep in. Crazy kids! I would say it doesn't help our start in the morning either that Nate is 85% of the time in a cranky screaming mood (see Nates New Years Resolutions to becoming a happier child - haha).

Oh well...wonderful, Sunday morning talk...gotta love it!

Resolutions & Goals for 2009

Brian - strive for a better relationship with my wife, do more fun things with family and friends, go fishing in Canada again, Shoot the "Big One", have more fun.

Michelle - Have a great relationship with Brian, get caught up on scrapbooking, read more, relax more, have great times with friends, be a great mom to my boys

Nicholas - graduate from pre-school, dress myself, eat more vegetables, go to Kindergarten, ride my bike, go to the pool all summer

Nathan - learn to talk, get potty trained, be a happier child, drive the Gator by myself

...we gotta' start somewhere right?

to a Happy, NEW Year

TRUE UNDERSTANDING

We do not understand...

...Joy...until we face sorrow.

...Faith...until it is tested.

...Hope...until confronted with doubts

...Peace...until faced with conflict.

...Trust...until we are betrayed.

...Love...until it is lost.

~Author Unknown~