Sad.Frustrated.Mad

I got a phone call this afternoon...while I was at work...a call I knew was coming...news I wasn't quite prepared to hear.

Tears. Frustration. Anger. Confused. Shocked. More Tears...more tears...and still more tears.

I'm angry...at myself (was it me, something I did/didn't do, why is this happening, when will this stop) angry at "the people" (back off of My children) and finally, yes, at God (why? seriously, it was hard enough thinking/dealing/hoping/praying with one, but the potential of both? this isn't fair, it isn't right!).

So I'm still frustrated. I'm still angry.

But not at God...because the minute I thought about how unfair for them, all the hurt and the pain and frustration that they will have to deal with that I will never be able to prepair them enough for...I remember that He had a son once too and it wasn't painless and easy for him either.

So I pray...for help, for grace, for the right words...because this is not going to go away and it is not going to get easier.

So I pray.