For a Hometown Girl

I received this email from my Aunt this morning...all for a hometown girl I remember...

This is a personal plea on my part. One of my co-workers, which many of you may know, Paula (Niccum) Johnson, has written and composed three Christian songs. She now has them available to listen to on either her website or you can purchase them on I-tunes.

Each song has its own sound, one is more rock/hip-hop, one is bluesy, and one is slow. If you would take the time to listen to them on her website and purchase them on I-tunes ($1 each) I would appreciate it! The more people that purchase the songs off I-Tunes the better chance she has of getting them played on the radio!!!!!!

Side note - Paula has been VERY ILL the past month or more. She currently is at MAYO and hopes to come home with answers as to what she might be sick from. Please keep her in your prayers as well.

If anyone reads this blog besides my own family (ha!) please say a prayer, and check out her music - each one is very different but wonderful in it's own right. "Last Goodbye" brought me to tears...

Not ok.

Heavy heart this past week...heavy heart and heavy mind...ugh.

Grace

For all the times I am reminded that I can't, I won't, I am not good enough, I will never follow through...

...there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

II Corinthians 12: 7-10

...in my weakness He is strong.

Not because of who I am.

Getting Creative!

This weekend in lurking through blogs of blogs of blogs I found many cool sites, but this one in particular. So with the hubby away, the wife will...sew? More like have fun cutting up t-shirts that I will never wear (pink?) and creating a cute scarf that has a bit more potential (still a bit more my mothers taste in color than my own - but pretty cool I must say)!

good night

Tonight has been a good night.

While I don't mind Brian being gone for work I'll be honest in saying that while he is gone, we either have good nights or bad nights - there is usually no in between. Either that or I have a behaving badly child #1 and behaving like a saint child #2 or visa versa.

But tonight...tonight was a good night. I never had to raise my voice, never had to ask more than once (even with the baby boy!!). We even had PTO tonight so Nate had to stick with me - with nothing to do but be close (which he loves) - in a room full of people (which he hates). He used his words and communicated quickly that he was getting overwhelmed, so to the back of the room we went, were I could hear and he could get some air - and all went well. We came home and had a quick drink (just milk for the boys!!) and it was time to chat and hit the hay. Again, no complaining, no back talk, just open ears and happiness all around. It even made my night when I was closing the door with my final "Love you guys!" and Nick says back "Love you to Mom!"

Yup, tonight was a good night.

Trying times.

Trying times I'm having - trying to be better, think better, do better and still be me (ah yes, my will or His will). Having conversations with Brian in regards to trust and why I don't - why that is so damaging to me and to relationships that I do or do not have and all the while me thinking that I really need to get this straight before my babies are old enough to realize this about their momma. Going back to my old self is easy - protect my thoughts and my feelings and my heart from those that might/will hurt me - and it's justified right? No one wants to get hurt. But in doing so, I'm not trusting and I'm not opening myself up to feel the pain, just pass it by, stuff it down, don't deal with it and let it get dusty in the corners of my mind.

Today I read this on a another blog...

“My heart is held in the hands that threw stars across the night sky. My heart is hidden beneath the shadow of wings that reach from eternity to eternity. My heart is mended by the Carpenter, pieced back together with the same nails that pinned Him between heaven and earth.
I’ve got to believe that He’s not going to let me be emptied.”
(Ali C.)

...and now I'm in tears (not good when I only have about 20min left of lunch). Ouch!

So now I have to ask myself...if I don't trust others...do I really even trust Him?

Do what you CAN...

...until you CAN do more.

I'm exhausted!

So, we are small group has started it's new study. Discussion upon beginning last week revolved around our body, spirit and soul and how our soul is "composed of our intellect, our will and our emotions" and I feel very strongly that my will is in a constant struggle will the will of God. Well in ready chapter 2 today, this is what they say, and it cuts right to the core of how I have been feeling...

"When you received Jesus as your Savior, your spirit came alive, began to assert its new life, and take its rightful place as head over your soul...and your body. Your body and soul, however, were accustomed to "running the show," and it wasn't long before they had pretty much overwhelmed your new life in the spirit, and resumed the drivers seat. When you pray in the morning, the busyness of your soul and body is quieted; your spirit has a chance to let you know he is there; and at this and other times, you get an inkling that deep inside you, the new life is very real. but as soon as the clamor of existence begins again, you automatically start to trust your soul and body rather than your spirit. You were so accustomed to living by your thoughts, feelings, and desires...and by the demands of your body, that you soon lost track of the voice of the newly living spirit deep within you. It would seem that something needs to happen to your soul and body before your spirit can gain stronger control."

Isn't that just nuts-on!

So after reading this an talking about it with Brian, I had to leave to run some errands, and what is the first song I hear? 'So Long Self' by Mercy Me - first time I had ever heard it and if that isn't just the cherry on top of the message (HELLO Holy Spirit!!).

So long, self
Well, it's been fun, but I have found somebody else
So long, self
There's just no room for two
So you are gonna have to move
So long, self
Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me, farewell
Oh well, goodbye, don't cry
So long, self

So let me be straight - I am trying - and it is exhausting fighting against ones own nature - but I am trying. I am owning up to my own excuses about my behavior and am going to start each day and be the person that God wants me to be. This is not and will not be easy, but I am trying...

me and my boy.

My Tator baby

My Nicker

Going to the Zoo!

Last week Saturday we took the boys to the zoo! I commented to Brian that most days I feel like I live in one...and seeing the first exhibit - the Monkeys - it confirmed by belief. There were the two cutest little monkeys who were constantly swinging to and from each other, picking and touching and bugging each other the whole time. It was quite comical especially when the smaller of the two blindsided the other with a swift swing over and nice two-footed kick in the back...yup, that's my house all right!

My little monkeys.

Crazy huge monster fish...

Grandson of a hog farmer.

My first thought when I saw this sign 'Is this all it takes to get there?' - Ha!

After the zoo, we had a picnic and played in the park.

Then we went back to the zoo to see the elephants...and of course the monkeys...one more time.

Soccer Saturday(s)

And so like most families we know...Saturday has now become a day of Soccer. Thankfully for us, it is only a practice from 9 until 10!

If you don't remember our last incident with soccer, it started with "I love soccer" and was a wonderful rollercoaster of a week between that sentiment and "I want to be done!"

Of course, after that week of 90+ degree weather, the first thing Nick says when we ask him if he would like to give Soccer one more try is "No...it's just too hot." Moms response was a firm "Nick, I can almost guarantee you that it will not be hot!" and thankfully it was a beautiful August day!

Of course he started out being Mr. Shy but with a smart coach who had his team play a whole field away from their parents, we saw our little guy become himself again and have a great time. By the time they all came running back for their first water break, our boy was back and ended the hour having had a great time!

Mommy's attempt at a posed shot!

So much more natural - and such a cute Nicker!!

Love-a-the-Ribs!!

Aug 21st & 22nd - RIB FEST!!

On Saturday afternoon we took the boys with us to Rib Fest in Davenport - SO GOOD! We tried several of the vendors ribs and had to come back to the same group that we loved when we first went 3 years ago - 'Lick My Ribs' - they are the best!!

Finger lickin' good!

The boys - loving their chips!

They also had also had some bounce houses for the kids to enjoy...at one point it came down to Nick asking for both the carmel popcorn AND more bouncing. Given the choice of one, he choose the bouncing!

Once Tator got hold of the lemonade, it was all his!