I'm exhausted!

So, we are small group has started it's new study. Discussion upon beginning last week revolved around our body, spirit and soul and how our soul is "composed of our intellect, our will and our emotions" and I feel very strongly that my will is in a constant struggle will the will of God. Well in ready chapter 2 today, this is what they say, and it cuts right to the core of how I have been feeling...

"When you received Jesus as your Savior, your spirit came alive, began to assert its new life, and take its rightful place as head over your soul...and your body. Your body and soul, however, were accustomed to "running the show," and it wasn't long before they had pretty much overwhelmed your new life in the spirit, and resumed the drivers seat. When you pray in the morning, the busyness of your soul and body is quieted; your spirit has a chance to let you know he is there; and at this and other times, you get an inkling that deep inside you, the new life is very real. but as soon as the clamor of existence begins again, you automatically start to trust your soul and body rather than your spirit. You were so accustomed to living by your thoughts, feelings, and desires...and by the demands of your body, that you soon lost track of the voice of the newly living spirit deep within you. It would seem that something needs to happen to your soul and body before your spirit can gain stronger control."

Isn't that just nuts-on!

So after reading this an talking about it with Brian, I had to leave to run some errands, and what is the first song I hear? 'So Long Self' by Mercy Me - first time I had ever heard it and if that isn't just the cherry on top of the message (HELLO Holy Spirit!!).

So long, self
Well, it's been fun, but I have found somebody else
So long, self
There's just no room for two
So you are gonna have to move
So long, self
Don't take this wrong but you are wrong for me, farewell
Oh well, goodbye, don't cry
So long, self

So let me be straight - I am trying - and it is exhausting fighting against ones own nature - but I am trying. I am owning up to my own excuses about my behavior and am going to start each day and be the person that God wants me to be. This is not and will not be easy, but I am trying...